Sunday, November 07, 2004
That others may be free
It's begun in Fallujah.
I had a dream last night in which I had enlisted in the Navy. I was being told to report for boot camp in Charleston, SC... and was going to have to leave immediately. I was hurriedly telling everyone good-bye and wondering exactly where and when I was supposed to report, because nobody had given me written orders.
(Several details in the above should have tipped me off that I was dreaming, but alas, dream-logic is impervious to doubt.)
I was starting to understand what I'd let myself in for: months, perhaps years, without seeing my family or friends; regimentation of my life down to the minutest details; loss of the freedom that a young man takes for granted, to go where he wants, when he wants, to do the things he wants. I was losing all that and in return I was going to be put under pressures I could not begin to imagine; physically, mentally, emotionally. And there was the possibility, of course, that life itself was drawing to a close; even in peacetime, naval personnel die in training and during the course of such "normal" evolutions as underway replenishment or carrier landings.
As the dream drew to a close (and I drew closer to boot camp), a ray of hope dawned; I remembered that I was over 30, a physical wreck, and patently unfit for military duty. How the recruiter had managed to overlook these foibles, I couldn't begin to imagine; but the DI's wouldn't. I was headed for either reprieve or death in training.
When I woke up, I felt a tremendous rush of relief. I'm not in the Navy, not in any branch of military service. If I want to, I can go home at any time to see my family; after work tomorrow, if I feel like going to the movies or out to eat, I will. I am free.
And following on that relief, guilt; because there are thousands of men and women who have sacrificed those little freedoms so I can enjoy them.
Many have died in recent months; and more will be dying in the days ahead, as they fight to bring peace and freedom to people who have never known it.
There are no words for my gratitude to them. May God be between them and harm, in all the empty places they walk.
|
I had a dream last night in which I had enlisted in the Navy. I was being told to report for boot camp in Charleston, SC... and was going to have to leave immediately. I was hurriedly telling everyone good-bye and wondering exactly where and when I was supposed to report, because nobody had given me written orders.
(Several details in the above should have tipped me off that I was dreaming, but alas, dream-logic is impervious to doubt.)
I was starting to understand what I'd let myself in for: months, perhaps years, without seeing my family or friends; regimentation of my life down to the minutest details; loss of the freedom that a young man takes for granted, to go where he wants, when he wants, to do the things he wants. I was losing all that and in return I was going to be put under pressures I could not begin to imagine; physically, mentally, emotionally. And there was the possibility, of course, that life itself was drawing to a close; even in peacetime, naval personnel die in training and during the course of such "normal" evolutions as underway replenishment or carrier landings.
As the dream drew to a close (and I drew closer to boot camp), a ray of hope dawned; I remembered that I was over 30, a physical wreck, and patently unfit for military duty. How the recruiter had managed to overlook these foibles, I couldn't begin to imagine; but the DI's wouldn't. I was headed for either reprieve or death in training.
When I woke up, I felt a tremendous rush of relief. I'm not in the Navy, not in any branch of military service. If I want to, I can go home at any time to see my family; after work tomorrow, if I feel like going to the movies or out to eat, I will. I am free.
And following on that relief, guilt; because there are thousands of men and women who have sacrificed those little freedoms so I can enjoy them.
Many have died in recent months; and more will be dying in the days ahead, as they fight to bring peace and freedom to people who have never known it.
There are no words for my gratitude to them. May God be between them and harm, in all the empty places they walk.
Comments:
Post a Comment
